Haider Ackermann Should Take Dior Job, Say Astrologists

Haider Ackermann
Photo: Getty Images
Designer Haider Ackermann

No, this isn’t a late April Fools’ Day prank. While Riccardo Tisci, Alber Elbaz, and Marc Jacobs have all had their names thrown into the ring to replace John Galliano at Christian Dior, is reporting that Haider Ackermann is the man for the job—according to astrologists.

The site tapped writer Natasha Fraser-Cavassoni and horoscope expert Lisa Paul Streitfeld to analyze the charts of the would-be players, from Bernard Arnault to the aforementioned designers—plus Tom Ford, Carine Roitfeld, Hedi Slimane, Phoebe Philo, and Peter Dundas.

“With a conflicted Sun in Pisces and a commanding Taurus Moon, Arnault is an artist in businessman’s clothing,” Arnault’s appraisal reads. “He’s no doubt still smarting from Galliano’s flameout, but he realizes that it’s time to move on. And indeed on April 4, Neptune—the planet that inspires poets, painters and dreamers—enters the LVMH CEO’s Sun sign, where it’s at home. Because it meets up with Chiron, the wounded healer, at the same time, Arnault is poised to choose a new designer prototype reflecting the planet’s forceful feminine energy—not necessarily a woman, but one who honors the womanly shape not unlike Monsieur Dior did.

“What the stars say: With the Aries lineup on the April 3 New Moon prompting a proactive decision, Arnault will declare a new designer by early May.”

Early May? Much more appealing to Dior watchers on the edge of their seats than previous reports that the announcement would be made in the fall.

Tisci, story says, is a “top candidate” for the post, “but his Mars on Arnault’s Saturn predicts tension.”

As for Elbaz? “Armed with wise Saturn in Capricorn, Elbaz may decide that Dior’s corporate atmosphere could test his artistic temperament.”

“The eclipse action on [Peter Dundas’s] brilliant Sun/Jupiter/Uranus configuration makes him a media-savvy choice,” but according to the stars, Haider Ackermann is the clear winner.

“Last fall, Karl Lagerfeld put Ackermann on influencers’ radar screens by announcing that only he could replace him at Chanel,” it says. “Then came the triumph of Ackermann’s last show, a transporting fashion moment, to be sure. The designer’s Aries emphasis and the fact that he was born highly attuned—the electrical charge of Uranus opposite his Sun—fits with Arnault’s quest for pioneering originality.

“What the stars say: This is Ackermann’s moment to explode. The Aries lineup on his birthday grounds him with a significant fate, to be revealed in Arnault tapping him for Dior. Ackermann’s decision to grow would ensure a new era for Arnault.”

Only time will tell if the stars will align for Ackermann—but this astro-dish is certainly better than that dried-up rumor mill, no?

In the meantime, check out the new Dior VIII watch collection.