Simon Doonan on Why Gay Men Don’t Get Fat and Cleanses

Simon Doonan unveils the secrets to staying slim

Photo courtesy of Barneys

Simon Doonan at the Barneys breakfast to celebrate his book, Gay Men Don’t Get Fat

Simon Doonan, like most gay men, knows the secrets to life.

Historically, these secrets have been carefully guarded, but over the last few decades we’ve decided to reward society for its ever-increasing acceptance of our people by sharing some tidbits with the rest of the world.

Doonan’s recently released Gay Men Don’t Get Fat is the latest collection of wisdom to be shared with the general public, and it proves to be a wildly funny guide to living to the fullest, while never, well, getting fat.

He went into detail about his book at a breakfast at Barneys (where Doonan is Creative Ambassador-at-Large) to celebrate its release. The tome doles out secrets and life advice that run the gamut from diet to style to why becoming a hooker is not the greatest idea. (Apparently, prostitution can lead to nasty colds.) 

On food, he classifies all edible things into not four, but two nutritional groups: straight food and gay food.

Doonan writes, “Sushi may well be the gayest food on earth… Sushi chefs are basically taking sloppy bits of fish and magically reworking them into exquisite bonbons. How Gay, right?” Jumbo beef burritos are, on the other hand, decidedly straight.

Perhaps the greatest of all the secrets he reveals is the one of balance. He encourages eating a perfect mix of gay and straight foods in order to get the most fulfillment out of life.

When FashionEtc asked what he thought of juice cleanses, he replied they’re a bit masochistic, and went on to tell a story of when he and an American girl were having lunch in New York with people from Lanvin.

“The American girl arrived with this bottle of green bile, and then she plopped it on the table, and all the French women were like ‘[gasp] Qu’est-ce que c’est?’ They couldn’t believe anyone would actually take one, and they all ordered steak frites. You don’t have to have a giant Whopper cheeseburger for lunch. There are other things in between that and drinking the green liquid.”

Amen.

Gay Men Don't Get Fat is available now for $24.95 at Barneys.com.

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